Journey Into The Unknown

Journeying into the unknown…….what does that really mean? For me, a fundamental and pivotal moment in my life which profoundly altered the direction and quality of the path I was walking was when I full heartedly and with pure belief journeyed into the unknown. Now, the moment wasn’t just a jump into the void without regard and with reckless abandonment. I would never advocate to journey into the unknown all willy-nilly, even though “just going for it” has its merit and inherent value, as well as its time and place. My opportunity and choice to journey up to Alaska for the first time to go commercial salmon fishing in the summer of 2008 was preceded by many other choices and beliefs that incrementally paved the way for me to have the awareness and ability to make that choice when I was presented with it.

Much of the power, ability, and awareness that were utilized to journey into the unknown came from seeds that were planted over many years since the time I was a young boy. My father’s travel lust and strong need to fly somewhere new quite often in his twin engine prop plane, planted the seeds of excitement for new horizons and adventure at a very young age. The seeds of resilience to discomfort, fear, and the unknown were planted as I attended five different elementary schools between living in Utah and Texas so I was “the new kid” a lot in a short amount of time. I believe this identity of being “the new kid” built up a lot of resilience to being in a steady state of discomfort but also provided me with the fundamental skills of making new friends and creating a network of allies wherever I went. I was often friends with the more outcast/fringe kids and acted in a role of defending those who did not or could not stand up for themselves against the “popular” kids. Again, resilience to conflict, discomfort, and fear was being developed and nurtured in these formative years.

Then there was the trip to Mexico for mission work with my church forced upon me by my father with hopes of broadening my perspective and humbling me. Again, more resilience was being nurtured and having to find comfort and peace within the uncomfortable unknown all around me. While life experience had attuned me to being able to find comfort where there often was none to be found, I began my formal nurturing of romanticizing the journey into the unknown with reading books of the Old Testament, Jack Kerouac’s On The Road, the writings of Allen Ginsberg, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and the ancient Greek texts and epics, along with many other pilgrims, ascetics, and prophets’ writings. Alongside the books, I was immersing myself in the hero’s journey within Star Wars, The Matrix, anything having to do with Batman, Fight Club, Dragon Ball Z, Cowboy Bebop, Kenshin, and Avatar. While immersing myself in these stories and mythologies, I found a common thread/theme that would be the ultimate catalyst for my inevitable conscious journey into the unknown.

This common thread I found running through all stories and mythologies that proved impactful and meaningful to me was that of the hero, the sage, the wise man, the warrior, the Christ all journeying into the desert, or more importantly, the unknown. Quite often I found that the protagonist of the story went into a desert specifically but really the desert just acted as a symbol for the true unknown. The qualities of the desert that are important to note are that there is very little water and it’s very difficult to find the water that is available; there are no trees for shade or refuge; there is very little to no food available; what you carry with you will ultimately become a burden; there is a high state of discomfort and basically no real comfort anywhere; the protagonist is apart from everything and everyone they know and love; and the ultimate result of the desert is that the protagonist either comes out of the desert stronger and wiser or they die while challenging the very fabric of their being. The desert, the true unknown, is really just a test of the spirit and a moment in time where one has the opportunity to transcend their former self for a higher more evolved self.

Journeying into the unknown is a conscious choice to engage in profound growth that will have rippling effects throughout one’s entire life. I believe this is a necessary, fundamental, and a sacred component to every human’s journey. And it’s not necessarily just one journey into the desert/unknown. I believe one will have to journey into the unknown again and again throughout life when the proportion of comfort to discomfort is out of balance. Too much comfort can lead to stagnation and ultimately death. At the same time, too much sustained discomfort can lead to overwhelming anxiety and stress that will ultimately lead to death as well. Thus, one must strive to create a balance and know when it is time to journey into the unknown again to transcend the reinforced comfort bubble produced as a result of the last journey into the unknown. Aside from maintaining the necessary awareness for balance, it is absolutely fundamentally necessary to journey into the unknown at some point in your life. In the desert of the unknown is where you will discover your greatest strengths and weaknesses, and most importantly, the love and appreciation for yourself that is necessary to love others effectively. The need for such a journey is, I believe, the reason that this common thread is found in all mythologies and stories across the globe and why it is such an intricate and fundamental piece of the hero’s journey.

So it was as I sat on the precipice of the unknown in the summer of 2008. I was living in Crested Butte, Colorado living a fun and semi-cruisy life as a ski bum. The ski season had just come to a close and I had the idea of going commercial salmon fishing planted in me by two of my good friends out in Colorado. One of my ski buddies was from Homer, Alaska and had grown up commercial fishing with his dad and brother. Another good friend had gone up to Alaska in his 20’s and worked a season on a commercial tendering boat. Between the two of them, I got enough information and data to know where I should go and what to do when I got there. As it is with the genesis of most ideas, it was a dream, a thought, a wild idea that I could go to Alaska and commercially fish. But then, a calling came through my spirit…..I felt it in my bones, through and through, that going up to Alaska to commercial salmon fish was my destiny. I knew I had to go and there was no way around it. With that pure belief, I also knew that it was going to happen. I could see it all happening and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was going to happen. Not only did I know that I was going to Alaska but I also knew that this would be my first real conscious journey into the desert. It was very much a choice with the purpose in mind to join all the warriors, pilgrims, prophets, and Jesus himself in participating in the sacred moment of journeying into the real unknown in order to face and challenge the very fabric of my being even if it meant my premature death.

In the words of Sturgill Simpson, “Sometimes you gotta do something so crazy that a couple people will see and realize what you’re trying to do and support your dream. And for all of those who think you’re crazy and won’t support you,……..well, you know…..” This was exactly my experience when I began taking the steps necessary to go to Alaska in the summer of 2008. When I shared my vision and plans with my family and friends, I was met with a ton of resistance and fear. There were only a couple of friends and family that truly supported me and could see the belief I held in what I had to do. I could see later, that if my belief was not true, it would have been very easy to have been derailed from my purpose/dream by the fears of those whose opinions I cared most about. But sometimes, when you know in your bones you have to do something in order to grow, you have to say, “the hell with everybody else’s fears and opinions.” Even though it sounds careless and cold, there is a time and a place to allow your family and friends’ opinions, but when you are consciously choosing to go into the desert/unknown there is no room for your loved ones’ fears and concerns. Really, your loved ones are simply projecting their own natural fears and reservations onto you because they don’t know what you know about what you need in order to transcend and grow. At such a fundamental and profound moment in your journey, you need to develop the sensitivity and strength of discipline to listen to your heart, your spirit, your higher self, and/or God if you subscribe to that belief system. Lucky for me, in the absence of a lot of family and friend support, I had a strong belief in my path forward, a solid faith in providence, and a good measure of comfort in journeying into the unknown.

So with a one way ticket to Dillingham, Alaska, $300 to my name, and two weeks worth of food in my pack, I journeyed into the unknown at the end of May in 2008. Was I scared? Of course! To say that I did not have an almost overwhelmingly amount of “Oh shit!” moments along the way would be a straight lie. Was I, at times, feeling like giving up or allowing hurdles and speed bumps dissuade me from going? Of course! Did I feel utterly alone, vulnerable as hell, and like I could be swallowed up by the world? Almost every day I was on this journey into the unknown. But did all these feelings of discomfort, fear, anxiety, and internal conflict bring about great self-awareness, strength, wisdom, and confidence in my abilities? 100% without a doubt, yes!! Like I stated before, the blessings and benefits of this journey into the unknown had rippling effects that I am still benefitting from today 12 years later. Not only am I still benefitting from the choice to journey into the unknown back in 2008, that choice, paved the way for many more journeys into the unknown strengthening my resilience to discomfort while conditioning my response to the unknown to one of acceptance and excitement and less of fear and resistance.

There is much more to this story which will be continued in another blog post but for now, it is my hope that you may read this and feel much more inspired and enthusiastic about making a choice to journey into your unknown. I promise, no matter the cost, the rewards and blessings that await on the other side will have profound life-long effects that will forever redefine your perspective and approach in pursuing the journey into the unknown.